C+C=Maxigross and Miles' Italian Journey
FRIENDSHIP IS NOT AN ALGORITHM, and DEATH IS A REAL THING.
A walk with Miles Cooper Seaton, who lived on Planet Earth between October 23rd, 1979 and February 17th, 2021.
When I read the first articles published on Friday morning, my body was overwhelmed by a feeling of great confusion: who was that person they were talking about? Angel had texted me that Miles had lost his Life in a car accident during the night, and I couldn't believe it. Then friends started sending me articles from American websites with quotes and memoirs from people that he never mentioned, with pictures dating back almost ten years, as if they ignored where he lived and what he did since 2013 until the day before the accident. Was that person they were talking about really my Friend Miles?
Only then I understood that I had never met that indie-rock musician mentioned in those articles. I met a person called Miles Cooper Seaton, and I forgot that he ran away precisely from that world that wanted him like he didn't feel like being.
I met my Friend Miles Cooper Seaton on June 19th, 2014, on the eve of the first edition of our festival Lessinia Psych fest. I couldn't have imagined that he would have become one of my best friends back then, but I must admit that I hoped it somehow. For some reason, with some people, it's all completely natural even before it happens. Pippo and I went to pick him up at the station on the legendary Skoda; I told him that we had already met each other two years before at Interzona, and he said that he remembered it, but I didn't believe him. We took the huge backpack that he was travelling with around Italy for a month and a half, we got onto the car, and we went smiling towards so many adventures that not even a crazy book could tell. It went just like that: I planned a concert with one of the best booking agents (thanks very much to Marco/Wakeupanddream!) with an artist I knew about because he played in the Akron/Family (that I liked and I appreciated but I didn't follow). Fast forward a few months later, organizing his first Italian tour, not knowing we would have spent three months recording in our home studio on Monti Lessini, leaving only for some concerts around Italy.
I immediately understood that there was something special in the air; I trusted my instinct, mainly because this goblin from LA and Seattle was putting himself in my hands. I didn't even know why, and I'm still asking myself why he did so! When I was planning his first Italian trip's details, I would sometimes talk with Pippo and tell him: do you think there is something up? Why does such a well-known musician, who has just played worldwide with worldwide famous indie-rock artists, want to come with us to Vaggimal for one or two months? Is there something I'm missing? We barely know him; we have been together for only two beautiful days in Lessinia. Is he maybe "going too fast"?
Then, he landed again in Italy six years ago in March, this time to stay. And it was at that time that I understood who I was dealing with. Of course, he was "going too fast"! That was Miles.
Any prejudice, any judgment, any cliché, any qualm disappeared with him: he would go straight to the point, directly to the eyes, right to the heart. The musician with a blog, with a great career, with international collaborations and notorious festivals, was left in America. He was a crazy one, ready to go straight to the heart of "things" among us.
We set the home studio of Vaggimal up; it was the dining room, entirely in the dark, so that when we played, we were forced to hear each other with ears and hearth. He said that the goal was to create a mutual sound, in which it would not have been possible to distinguish which came from who. Back then, I couldn't have known that it would have become one of my Life's goals, not only in music! And how much since then it impresses me when I meet musicians who play together, aiming for the exact opposite! One evening Miles let us argue: I screamed something rude at Ambro, and he answered harshly. In the beginning, Miles remained quiet. After a while, he became earnest and told us: this is the place where we play; this is a sacred place. If you have to argue, do it, but go out and leave it outside the door.
Of course, I can't tell here even the tiniest part of what we lived together. Miles has been the first person I've met who knew more about music than me and who could show me exactly what I was looking for. Pippo always called him "the accelerator". Miles has been the first musician I've played with who played a lot better than me, in the way I would have liked to play when I was 25 years old (not that I was particularly good at it or that I had met many musicians). Miles has been the only person that understood how you felt when you wanted to lead a rock band to success, without being able and wanting to be a "traditional" leader. He never hid that he saw in us C+C the story of his band and firmly believed that he could have helped us not make the same mistakes that they made.
From the very first moment, Miles broke down the aura of "sector professional", as we inevitably looked at him before knowing him well, to become our brotherly Friend, our roommate, the guest at the Eastern lunch at grandmas. He never gave priority to anything else than the very essence of our relationship: staying together for the joy of doing it.
Being fully there, at that moment, 100%. Everyone who met him for at least some minute can't deny it. All the people who are calling me and writing to me since last Friday are confirming that.
Like everyone, he had a complex personality, which he never hid from those close to him (sometimes 15 minutes were enough to be close to him). His selective filter was a sort of test: if you can stand me, we will do great things together. He tested you, as he let you test him.
Everyone has a choice in Life, and he decided to devote his to the complexity of being alive. He decided to go deep instead of remaining on the surface and ignoring the treasures that can be found near and far.
With Miles, I condensed in six years so much energy, adventures, wonders, happy and sad moments comparable only to those of a lifelong friendship.
One year ago, we decided to take a break – if it is possible to apply this formula to friendship. I always thought being in a band is like being in a relationship in which more than two people are involved; in the same way, I felt that our relationship was very similar to a romantic one for some aspects. We truly loved each other, and there's no need to involve the sexual sphere to make this feeling more valid. We loved each other and, like two lovers who needed to breathe some fresh air, we took a break and walked on different paths for a while.
When I heard about his unexpected Death, I couldn't help thinking that he was already gone a year ago for me. He left all of his stuff here as if he had gone out to buy some bread. The empty cup of coffee was still on his desk. He left for Berlin for a few weeks. In the meantime, the pandemic unexpectedly spread out, and he was forced to leave for the USA with the last available flight before they were all cancelled, and he didn't manage to come back home to Veronetta. He reasonably decided to go back to Leanne, and we were very happy for them. Since then, we have texted a little, and we shared only one vocal note. We made a video call with Pippo in August 2020.
I think that true friendship is also this: giving each other time to think, breathe, and understand whatever you have to. I've never doubted that Miles knew that I loved him, and he loved me in return. I have often asked myself when we would see each other again, thinking he was such a crazy one.
What remained of resentment and misunderstanding slowly vanished with the seasons' flow, with the cold weather after the warm one and the rain pouring down the road. I wasn't in a rush because you got nothing to lose when you have given everything you have. You can only gain something. I was waiting for his move, and I was ready to provide whatever it would have taken.
This news painfully shocked me. As I have already said to all my worried friends who keep asking me how I feel, with shock and sadness, a mix of feeling and emotions moved within me, which are also positive and creative. Let me explain: I think that Miles had a sort of 'magic' relationship with me. I have had this kind of relationship with very few people; you can count them on the fingers of just one hand, and they're all more than 80 and 90 years old (hello there, grandmas!).
We never fought over money or stupid misunderstandings for envy or childish reasons. We surely fought badly – especially during these last years – but it was always over things we could have written in books or on which we could have found a new philosophical movement.
Miles didn't live according to society's standard rules, which he obviously abhorred and always challenged, and within which he desperately suffered.
Miles aimed at magic with every little choice, and he often drowned in an inch of water or exaggerated things. But this is how the Life of someone who goes for the unknown looks like.
He was the first person to ask me whether I would prefer to remain in the secure room of dissatisfaction or overcome my fear and open the mysterious door towards the unknown.
If I took the risk of being happy is because of you, my dear special Friend.
I cannot see what happened as a loss, mourning, and an end. Miles wouldn't have done that to anyone, and he surely wouldn't want that done to him!
Years ago, he talked to me about Death – because people like him can talk about Death the minute after they finished praising the authentic Neapolitan pizza.
I didn't understand what he was talking about, and I told him that I found Death distressing and that I was not particularly eager to talk about it. Only later, when I spontaneously approached Buddhism, I began to understand that what he was saying was part of an astounding view. I slowly get to understand it better. It surprises me that this view is so far from our culture, and it makes me sad: Death as a part of the circle of Life. It is not the end because there isn't any beginning. We shouldn't be scared of Death because it is as relevant as the sand that the rain washes away, later brought back there by the wind the next day. Only knowing what Death is, you will know what Life is. As the night permeates the day, so does the end with the beginning.
It would be simplistic and disrespectful to those who lost a husband, a son, a brother, saying that Miles had prepared me for his death. But it would be simplistic and disrespectful, also saying to Miles, "Don't be afraid, you're already dead". Miles, Miles, dude, bro, brother, General Madness, this is the biggest test, which I would have never wanted to face. But thank you for bringing me also to this; I don't think there's a better way than this to make us understand the preciousness of Life, to make us realize what and who matter in our lives.
As you already know, the Sufi teachers say that a civilized person's primary goal is leaving every place and every person he meets a little better than before their encounter: thank you for having done this to all of us.
Do you know the cool thing about the sentence "At least we still have his music"? That is entirely true.
Tob
Veronetta, 20th february 2021
(in the photo: a pheasant and the bromeoz, the day after they met for the very for first time, 20th june 2014, San Rocco di Piegara in Verona, Lessinia Psych Fest - photo by Ana Blagojevic, that from that day she became his official photographer, that means of the heart)
